More on Comfortable Shoes

My husband, who owns several pairs of comfortable shoes, has trained his students very well. They almost never wear comfortable shoes anymore. My husband is my hero. I wish there were more teachers like him. He could really win an award – maybe even a national award – for the work he is doing.

You see, comfortable shoes are extremely overrated among hikers, outdoorsy types, athletes, grandmothers, gardeners, bird-watchers, retired Math teachers, Mennonites, the obese, and the blind.

Just look around you and you will see them everywhere. People in dull, drab, loosely-fitted clothing and yes, you guessed it – comfortable shoes.

Someone was walking past our house the other day and we heard them say something about their comfortable shoes. But when we looked at them and saw their shoes, we didn’t want them walking in front of our house. This could negatively affect property values, I thought. It’s this sort of thing that forces decent people like my husband and I to think we should probably move to a gated community in the suburbs.

But back to the kids. Kids know a lot about fashion today. There’s not a whole lot else they know anything about, because they are always texting and yakking on their cell phones. If you asked most teens today about the Democratic Party platform, they would probably look at you oddly, and then go on about platform shoes and how Ozzie Osborne swears them to bed.

I wonder what would happen if Ozzie Osborne wore comfortable shoes? Would he suddenly become comprehensible? Would he stop dropping the F-bomb? Would his hair become a natural shade of gray?